Missing her

This week June is away at a sleep away camp and I am having such a hard time. I miss her so much. I knew it would be hard, but I am counting the days until we can pick her up again on Saturday. The house feels so lonely without her.

I know this separation is good for us. She is experiencing something new and gaining confidence and independence, all of which are normal stages of growth for her. For me, it is a challenge I will have to get used to as she grows up and does more and more on her own. This parenting thing is hard.

There are no phones allowed at this camp and we have no way of communicating with her. The camp posts photos of the kids everyday on their website and I have been scouring them each night looking for June. Is she having fun? Who is she with? What are they doing all day? I can report that she looks like she is having a great time.

I think this separation would be hard for me even under normal circumstances, but it’s extra hard right now because of what I’ve been going through mentally and emotionally. For several months now I have had a really hard time being away from my family. June and Daniel went on a weekend camping trip in April and I was so miserable. I feel like such a big baby right now. I can’t handle anything. I lean on Daniel too much. I cry too easily. I feel lonely when they’re not around.

Did you go to sleep away camp when you were a kid? How was it? I went to a dance camp once. I remember having fun and not missing my parents. I was close to my parents then, but nothing like June and I are now. Something about having an only child makes the bond extra strong. I know this mini separation is preparing me for the day, not too far in the distance, when she’ll go out on her own more permanently. I don’t know how I will handle that. For now, I’ll make the most of our time together. It is our job as parents to prepare them to become independent adults but it’s so unfair, the time with us too short. These are the things on my mind right now.

This week I’m taking extra good care of myself. Yoga, long morning walks with Lewis, extra kitty snuggles, seeing friends. It’s how I’m getting through the week. Oh, and working on the house on Granny White. It’s almost ready to list and let go! And today the new season of Outlander comes out. So I know how I’ll be spending my Friday night.